Today
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Today he told her that he loved her, put a ring around her finger and promised her forever, together. Today, she smiled for all the pictures, and he was right there with her making all the memories without me...


A little bit of a tearjerker I wrote while listening to the Gary Allan song, Today. Beautiful, sad song. I've never quite done anything like this, and I'm pretty excited about it. So enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

Today is the happiest day of her life.

In a little church not too far from where she worked, she stood in front of God, her friends, and the man that she loved, promising to love and cherish him for the rest of her life.

She didn't really have any family left, but the people that she had worked with for over ten years happily filled the position. Their captain gave her away, and two of their coworkers, along with his son, stood as best men. His three daughters stood beside her as her maids of honor. Forget tradition. Today they would be bonded together forever as family, and his children would be hers. Why couldn't they stand up with them?

And besides, they had never followed anyone's rules but their own. That's what got them to the altar, when no one had thought that they would survive a week together, let alone more than a decade on the force as partners.

The preacher smiled at the two of them and said, "Olivia, take your ring and place it on Elliot's finger."

A tear rolled down her cheek as she turned to Maureen and accepted the ring, then gently slid it onto Elliot's left hand.

"Now, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

She nearly choked on her tears as she held his hand tight and whispered, "With this ring…I thee wed."

The preacher nodded as Elliot turned to Dickie and took the golden band from his son. Then he leaned forward and reached under her veil, gently wiped her tear away with a thumb before sliding the ring on Olivia's slender hand. "With this ring, I thee wed." He brought her hand up to his mouth and softly kissed her knuckles.

Everyone who was watching had tears in their eyes and smiles on their lips.

All except one.

_Today, he told her that he loved her_

_Put a ring around her finger_

_And promised her forever, together_

_Today, she smiled for all the pictures_

_And he was right there with her_

_Making all the memories without me_

Alex Cabot stood in the back of the church, out of sight of the other guests. She was wearing a simple purple cotton dress, but it didn't reflect the storm that was raging inside of her heart.

Elliot was like a brother to her, and after all they had all been through, she felt close to him. He was a decent man, but on this day, the sight of him made her sick. He was marrying her heart's desire, and there wasn't a damn thing that she could do about it.

And it was killing her inside.

She had always thought that there would be time for them, for love. But somehow, time had slipped through her slender fingers. She hated herself for ever letting that happen.

"I guess she's really gone now," she whispered to herself as one of the guests suddenly cheered, then received an amused scolding for interrupting the ceremony.

She slid her glasses off of her face and wiped at her eyes, thankful that she hadn't worn mascara. She had known, ever since she received the invitation for this day, that she wouldn't be able to get through it without crying. That was, if she could even force herself to go.

_And it hurts to say this out loud_

_Looks like she's really gone now_

The three girls beside Olivia linked hands, and Elizabeth wasn't even bothering to try not to cry. It was a happy day, and they were very much happy tears.

Beside Elliot, Dickie stood stoically with his hands resting in front of him, trying not to let the tears in his cerulean eyes fall.

Fin reached out and placed a large paw on the young man's shoulder, and Munch did the same. Dickie looked at them and saw the tears that the older men were also fighting back, and he understood. He turned again and looked at his sisters, then at their dad.

Alex leaned against the nearest wall, running her hand through her thick, blond hair.

She wanted to be happy for Olivia. She knew that she should be, because all she wanted was for the woman she loved to have everything that she had wanted. She had had such a difficult life, and she deserved to have everything that her heart had ever desired.

She just wished that Olivia's heart desired her.

_Today is the happiest day of her life_

_I should be happy for her today_

_So tell me why are there tears in my eyes?_

_I know I should be happy for her_

_But I've lost everything_

_I've lost everything I've ever wanted today_

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the preacher said warmly. "You may kiss your bride."

A few tears finally escaped Elliot's eyes as he reached out and gently raised her veil. Then he placed his hands gently on her waist, drawing her against him as his lips found hers. He had always been hers, and now the whole world knew it.

As they kissed, Olivia's arms wound around his neck and hugged him tight. She had loved this man for the better part of ten years, and while she had always belong to him, he could never belong to her. Until now. Her right hand slid down to her waist, where his left hand rested, and she couldn't resist tracing a fingertip lightly over the golden band she had just placed on his finger.

Alex watched the newlyweds kiss, and if she hadn't been leaning against the wall, she probably would have collapsed. Her heart might as well have been ripped out of her chest and shredded, then dropped on the floor. Maybe it would hurt a little less than watching the only woman she could love marry the man she had cared deeply for since the early days of their partnership.

But she really couldn't blame Olivia for her heart breaking in her chest. She hadn't known. And she could only blame herself for not telling her how much she meant to her.

Alex scrubbed her hand over her face and sighed. Maybe if she had, things would have gone differently. She had all the chances in the world, and too many opportunities to count to profess her feelings. But she just kept putting it off for another day.

Her hand went to her neck, where a simple gold chain rested against her porcelain skin. But it wasn't the chain that held the significance. It was the diamond ring that resided there that mocked her. It was so understated, but so beautiful. Just like the woman that she wanted to give it to.

The perfect moment to tell Olivia how much she loved her was the day that she had bought the ring. They had been walking down the sidewalk, just two friends, no work or complications weighing on their minds. It had been snowing lightly, and every time she looked at Olivia, she wanted to kiss her. Those chocolate eyes, those soft, pouty lips…

She had almost said it when Olivia suddenly turned and stopped in front of the window of a jewelry store. Alex had followed her, and together they had browsed the diamond rings that were on display.

Olivia tapped on the window, pointing to one ring in particular. "That's my ring!" she had stated, grinning wildly. "Of course, it would help if I had someone in mind first…"

They had both laughed, and the next afternoon Alex had come back and gone inside. Without blinking an eye, she bought the very ring that Olivia had been admiring. Then she had gone home and tucked it away in a drawer, saving it for the day when she would finally tell Olivia just how much she adored her. She would have given her the moon, if she'd asked for it.

Alex came back to the present when everyone got to their feet and watched the newlywed couple come down the aisle.

As Elliot and Olivia passed her, Alex met Olivia's eyes, swallowing hard. The brunette woman smiled and gave her a little wave, then laughed as Elliot pulled her into his arms and kissed her again.

Of course she wouldn't miss her. Who was she trying to kid?

_Today I thought about the moment_

_I could have said I loved her_

_And promised her forever, together_

_Today, today it really hit me_

_That she don't really miss me_

_She's found a new beginning_

If she had it to do over, she would have taken that chance on that snowy New York afternoon. She would have done what Elliot was doing right now, and she would never have let her go.

She wouldn't have been so stupid, or naïve to think that she had all the chances in the world instead of just one. She would have grabbed the moment and wished it would never end.

If she had said something, maybe it would have been her with Olivia at the front of the church just now. Maybe it would be the two of them starting a new life together.

But it was too late for all of that, and she knew it. She stifled a soft sob, letting the engagement ring slip from her slender fingers. It nestled against her heart, and she simply felt it resting there. Then she followed the crowd out and into the reception hall.

She knew that she was being watched as she headed to the bar, but she just didn't care anymore. Alcohol wouldn't fix the huge mess that her life had suddenly become, but maybe it would at least numb her to the pain that threatened to engulf her.

_And I'm wishing I had one more chance_

_God knows it's too late for that_

After taking a long drink of her whiskey, Alex turned on the barstool and looked across the room. Elliot had Olivia in his arms and a photographer was snapping shots as the two looked at each other adoringly. For them, and anyone who looked at them, there was no one else in the world.

She felt another jolt of jealousy course through her body as she motioned to the bartender for a refill of her whiskey. Then she looked at them again.

Olivia had her back to Elliot and was leaning on him, one arm sliding around his neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She laughed as he leaned down and whispered something into her ear.

God, she would have given anything at that moment, even her last breath, to be the one to make Olivia smile like that. But it seemed that Elliot was the only one who could bring that particular smile out in her.

She turned back to the bar and stared down into her shot glass. Who was she kidding? She was nowhere good enough for Olivia. At least she knew that the woman she loved would be happy and taken care of. She had once told Alex that she wanted children, and Elliot already had children and was more than willing to have more with his partner.

Olivia would have the most beautiful children… She scrubbed her hand over her face as more tears gathered in her eyes.

She was happy for her. She really was. But to be happy for her was to put aside everything that she had ever wanted in her life. And she wasn't sure if she had the strength to do that.

More hot tears rolled down her burning cheeks, silently splashing on the wooden top of the bar.

_Today is the happiest day of her life_

_I should be happy for her today_

_So tell me why are there tears in my eyes?_

_I know I should be happy for her_

_But I've lost everything_

_I've lost everything I've ever wanted today_

When she finally felt brave enough, she set the glass down and stood up again. Smoothing out the front of her dress, she drew in a deep breath and waited a moment before crossing the wooden floor.

Elliot saw Alex first, and he gave her a warm grin, his cerulean eyes sparkling brightly. He kissed Olivia's forehead. "Hey, Alex. Thanks for coming."

She forced a smile, but it didn't quite reach her sad eyes. "I wouldn't have missed it for anything," she murmured, rubbing her arm.

Olivia gave her new husband another quick kiss, then stepped out of his arms and walked to Alex. "I'm so glad you came." She gently touched Alex's arm, then drew her into a warm embrace.

Alex stiffened, then relaxed in Olivia's arms. Her own arms wound around the brunette woman and held her tenderly. "You know I wouldn't have been anywhere else, Liv," she whispered, gently rubbing Olivia's back. "Not on your big day."

Olivia sniffled, then pulled back and gently brushed Alex's thick hair out of her face. "Thank you, Alex."

Alex's already broken heart shattered just a little more as Olivia kissed her cheek softly, then walked back into her waiting husband's arms.

_Today is the happiest day of her life_

_I should be happy for her_

_But I've lost everything_

_I've lost everything I've ever wanted_

She stood there for a few minutes as the music started, and Elliot dragged Olivia onto the floor and pulled her tightly against his chest.

Suddenly she couldn't breathe. It was as though there was no more oxygen in the room for her to breathe. She closed her eyes for a moment, her lower lip trembling.

A few feet away, someone said her name, but she didn't hear it. She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't pretend to be happy when her world was collapsing around her. She stumbled through the doors and outside.

It was storming outside, and for a moment, she simply stood in the falling rain, letting it cleanse her heart and soul. When she could move again, she looked over her shoulder, her tears mixing with the cold rain.

"I love you, Olivia," she whispered. "Be happy. Please, be happy."

_Today, he told her that he loved her_

_Put a ring around her finger _

The End.

A/N: Sad. huh? Hope everyone enjoyed, and please remember to review!


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